"The bird legs of space"

Today I learned that when the human body spends an amount of time in zero-gravity, the fluids that normally stay in the legs migrate to the chest and abdomen making the legs skinny aka "bird legs of space." Other effects include the face and head get puffy with fluid and you can grow an inch in height.

Ricardo Montalbán RIP (1920 –2009)

International Space Archives

We just lost a great Latino character actor who played many memorable sci-fi/fantasy roles, Khan Noonien Singh on "Star Trek", Armando the circus owner in Escape from the Planet of the Apes and Conquest of the Planet of the Apes who hid Caesar, the intelligent talking chimp, from the government and eventually led to our planet's downfall. And of course he played Mr. Rourke on that wretched Aaron Spelling show "Fantasy Island." Ricardo also voiced many commercials and short films including this NASA short "Women for Space" (hosted by the International Space Archives)

McRib Locator

MacRib Locator
So I'm not the only one who loves those greasy little sandwiches. This site allows users to post McRib sightings across the US. I've given up many of the things that McDonalds sells (soda, fries) but I can't give up the McRib.

Luckily, vegetarians/vegans can also indulge thanks to Gardenburger. They are getting harder to find (Kroger no longer stocks Gardenburger, but Trader Joes has them). I recommend adding the pickles and onions and a toasted sesame seed bun.

Finally...

After years of planning and waiting, my work with NASA moving images can be seen by the public...

http://www.internationalspacearchives.com/

I've digitized about 300 videos from NASA's educational branch and there are another 1000 or so films and videos in the pipeline. Enjoy!

This Means Something!

I was at OfficeMax looking for supplies - which they didn't have - and had to call Staples. The Staples employee put me on hold and the telephone hold music was exactly the same as the music being played at OfficeMax! I feel like I uncovered some hidden conspiracy...

If you are wondering...

..what I want for Christmas, this is on my wish list*

Sexual Behavior of Normal, Socially Isolated and LSD - 25 Injected Guinea Pigs (1959)
Distributed by Pennsylvania State Univ Psych Cinema Register
Univ Of Kansas; Lawrence; KS; 66045. 1 film reel (17 min.), optical sound, 16 mm. B & W

Shows the estrous behavior of female guinea pigs, and the various phases of sexual behavior of normal males and the reduced amount of sexual behavior of males, raised in social isolation, when in the presence of an estrous female. Illustrates how an injection of LSD25 disrupts the sexual behavior of the male.

*For some reason, Amazon won't let me add this to my Amazon Wish List...

Note from Rawls

note from Rawls
Originally uploaded by A/V Geeks

I found this post-it note from Cy Rawls - back when he worked for A/V Geeks. He would come by a couple of times a week to splice 16mm TV commercials and listen to sports radio. He was such a great worker and it pained me that I had to let him go when I ran out of money.

Cy died in early October of brain cancer, but things like this note will keep him alive in our hearts and minds for decades to come.

This is Cornelius...

A wrong number leaves a voicemail message, NSFW.

A/V Geeks present "Is It Safe?"

The A/V Geeks care about your well being and so, they present a night of 16mm safety films that point out that everywhere you turn is a potential calamity that could ruin your happy yet oblivious life. Films include: One Got Fat, Lucky You!, Fry It Safe, Safety Belts and more! Bring some friends! Door prizes! Suggested donation $5.

Note the new time! 8PM, Sunday, Sept 28th Tir Na Nog, 218 S. Blount St. Raleigh, NC 27601

A/V Geeks present "Section 8" @ Anthology Film Archives in NYC

Whether you consider ‘Section 8’ to be a low-income housing rent supplement or an attempt to act crazy to get out of the military, you have to think about the A/V Geeks Archive which is housed in a former boarding-house/crackhouse that received Section 8 funding. And while seemingly crazy, Skip Elsheimer, founder and main curator of the renowned A/V Geeks Educational Film Archive, has stepped up to the challenge of being assigned a theme for his show. Pulling from his ever-growing collection of over 20,000 16mm films, Skip has cobbled together a program of films related to the number 8. The program includes the haunting Multiplication Rock short FIGURE EIGHT, a film about a chain-smoking octopus, OCTOPUFF IN KUMQUAT, an Oldsmobile 88 commercial and many more odd and wonderful films. Bring some friends! Door prizes! Admission $8.

7:30 PM, Sunday Sep 21 Anthology Film Archives, 32 Second Avenue, New York, NY (212) 505-5181

"Clowns Never Lie"

clowns never lie
Originally uploaded by A/V Geeks

Ever since my first trip to Houston, I've loved visiting the Orange Show. I found a kindred spirit with creator, the late Jeff McKissick--a man whose orange obsession grew to a monumental scale. During that first visit, I got this shirt (seen to the left). It's my favorite t-shirt. I wear it all the time. In lines, I can see people moving their lips reading the shirt and then wrinkling their brow in bafflement. Occasionally, someone will ask me what it means. I try to explain the Orange Show as one man's tribute to the orange fruit and that the text is from one of the exhibits.

In 2007, when taking my Dad to see the Orange Show, I met the head of the organization. She was very enthusiastic about me doing a film show there. I was super excited. On subsequent visits to the Orange Show, I realized that my favorite shirt was no longer available for purchase - it was out-of-print and there were no plans to reprint it. My shirt was getting pretty ragged and I wanted to get a new one. I decided that I would create a film show based on the t-shirt in the hope that new shirts would be printed. Sure enough, they did print new shirts (although now they are a burnt orange - almost brown - shirt). While not listed on their website, email or call them to buy a shirt.

I put together a presentation with films that were influenced by the Orange Show, films about clowns, lying and of course, oranges.

Citrus On Parade (late 194?) Sunkist
Shows orange and lemon groves where year-round pickers clip the fruit. Demonstrates packing and grading and suggests ways to serve the fruit. The film was in beautiful Kodachrome and was filled with glorious assembly line footage AND shots of various citrus recipes! An 9 year old girl next to me kept saying "This is just a commercial for Sunkist!"

Self-Image: If Mirrors Could Speak (1976) Sandler
Robbie, Laurie, and George all are able to make positive contributions in their class. Instead, all have become 'clowns'. Robbie is the sad clown. Laurie is the sneaky clown. George is the mischievous clown. We see their antics in the classroom, in the lunch area, and on the playground. The results are always the same, but they remain oblivious to the reactions of their friends and classmates.


Lying (1975) Filmation
A seven foot tall, morbidly obese urban African-American kid and his gang (aka Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids) learn how lies can get you in trouble. Explains that the gang's friend, Eddie, is back from Florida, where he says he wrestled alligators. Relates that the kids believe him and ask him to show them how to do it. Tells that everyone winds up covered with mud and wringing wet. Concludes with Eddie telling them that they should make up a story to tell their parents to avoid being reprimanded. At this point the kids realize that Eddie is a liar and has cried 'wolf' one too many times.

Toothache of A Clown (1972) Encyclopedia Britannica
I've shown this film a bunch (Best of 4, Schooladelic, Save Those Teeth) since it is such a crowd pleaser. Not only does it feature a creepy clown but it has some outrageous dream sequence with a kid dentist and teeth with hands and legs. The need for regular dental care is shown in this charming story about a sad clown with a toothache. As they treat the aching tooth, the dentist gives advice about cutting down on sweets, brushing properly and visiting the dentist regularly. The 9 year old girl next to me commented that this film would have scared more kids than it would have helped..

Orange and Blue (1969)
Provides a visual perspective of the world as seen by two child-like personalities, orange and blue. Juxtaposes visual images with a musical score. An experimental film using color and music to create moods. Follows the adventures of an orange ball and a blue ball as they play in the countryside and in a junkyard. Besides having an orange ball, all the metal and junkyard footage is very reminiscent of the Orange Show. While I was screening this film, a 12 year old kid wisecracked "This film was made by a hippie with a movie camera in a junkyard with two balls!"

A Boy Creates (1971) Encyclopedia Britannica
I just saw this film days before the show and had to add it to the screening. Besides featuring clowns, the film typified the Orange Show of Visionary Art experience. It pictures a young (African-American!) sculptor as he creates his masterpiece of 'JUNK ART,' pointing out the ability of an artist to transform existing materials into meaningful and imaginative figures or patterns. This film was very well received by the audience. Watching again, I'm pretty sure I saw this film as a kid...

Photos from the event can be found here.

A/V Geeks Go To Houston, TX!

Clowns Never Lie: A/V Geeks at Orange Show

Returning to Aurora for year eight, 16mm film collector Skip Elsheimer/A/V Geeks brings another entertaining batch of simply wrong educational and training films. After visiting The Orange Show for the first time, Skip Elsheimer found a kindred spirit in the late Jeff McKissick--a man whose orange obsession grew to a monumental scale. In the spirit of citrus admiration, Skip has curated a show based on his favorite Orange Show t-shirt: Clowns Never Lie. So be prepared for a night of oranges, clowns, lying and other Orange Show inspired 16mm films. Show up early for Honey Dew the Clown and a delicious orange treat courtesy of Whole Foods Market. Click here to reserve a ticket!

8pm, Fri, Sep 5, The Orange Show, 2402 Munger St., Houston, Tx 77023

Pool Rulez: An A/V Geeks Pool Party Screening!

A/V Geeks try to beat the oppressive Houston heat by showing films about swimming and pools at an actual swimming pool. No running. No glass bottles. No profanity. Enjoy a synchronized swimming performance by Aquanauts of Clear Lake*, refreshing beverages, and tasty hors-oeuvres. Proceeds from the event go to help everyone’s favorite microcinema, the one-and-only Aurora Picture Show! Tickets to this special fundraiser are $60 for non-members and $50 for members. To purchase your tickets, please call the office (713.868.2101) to purchase over the phone and avoid convenience fees.

7pm, Saturday, September 6

Films on 7/13/08, Part 1

Pamela Wong's Birthday for Grandma (1977) Lifestyle Production/ Encyclopedia Britannica
Depicts a special event in the life of a Chinese-American family while showing various aspects of life in Chicago's Chinatown. Shown in honor of Miles' birthday, its one of my favorite films in my collection.

Lonedale Operator (1911) D.W. Griffith
A drama in which a telegraph operator wards off payroll thieves with a wrench resembling a gun while her engineer-sweetheart races a train to her rescue. Below is a music video on YouTube made up of clips from the film (why the hell this film isn't on YouTube or elsewhere on the Internet in a complete form is beyond me)

Symphonie Diagonale (1924) Viking Eggeling
Features hieroglyphic forms moving along an invisible diagonal in a work by Viking Eggeling. Nifty animation that reminded me of early neon signs on Times Square.

Hammy Learns To Fish (1965)
Uses live animals to tell the story of a hamster and a rat who go fishing. This was another episode from the Tales of the Riverbank series that used to be shown on Canadian TV. The hamster and the rat decide to take the rat's motorboat down the river to go fishing. Lots of Heart of Darkness jokes here.

Films on 7/6/08

Rhythmus 21 (1921) Hans Richter
An early abstract film that orchestrates squares and rectangles of the film and screen. Not the most interesting film to our jaded, Flash-addled eyes, but this was almost 90 years ago...

Great Train Robbery (1903) Edwin S Porter
Bandits tie up the station master, stop the train, rob the mail car, take the passenger's valuables and escape. The station master's daughter frees her father, alerts a group at a dance who then chase and overtake the robbers. This was a 16mm from Blackhawk and featured the hand-tinting. While the pacing was slower than what we are used to, it was fascinating to watch and the idea that somebody painted each 35mm frame was mind-boggling.

I Am (1971) Wombat Films
Explores factors involved in the development of a positive self-image, the pain of rejection, the poignancy of near-misses in developing relationships and the satisfaction of recognition and response. Wow, the main kid reflects on how his dad isn't really a hero or famous - just a regular guy.

School Libraries In Action (1960) NC Film Board
Illustrates major areas of a school library program-planning for library use, guiding reading, teaching library skills, supplying instructional materials and guiding reference work. Most of the film was shot at Sherwood-Bates School in Raleigh on Oberlin Rd near Glenwood Ave. All of the kids are lily white, so we took notice when there were scenes with African-American teens - obviously shot at a segregated school somewhere in Wake County, we guess.

Look What's Going Around (1973) Churchill Films
Emphasizes the ease of treatment, symptoms and spread of venereal disease. Includes a discussion by a group of young people to present attitudes to help dispel the sense of shame. Shows how to use a condom - a rarity for VD films aimed at teens.

Un Chien Andalou (1928) Luis Buñuel and Salvador Dalí
Yeah, we all saw this in college or if you were lucky, high school. It doesn't hurt to see this film every once and a while. This particular print was silent, which had us all questioning how authentic the sound version is (wikipedia tells us it was added with Buñuel's approval).

Help Woodsy Spread the News (1977) U S Dept Of Agriculture
Features the anti-pollution owl Woodsy ("Give a hoot! Don't pollute!") describing the ways in which the quality of the environment can be preserved by stopping pollution. Wow! For those of us that remember Woodsy Owl, this version of Woodsy had a little person in very confining owl costume. His partner is a flamboyant, rainbow-suspendered, African-American troubadour who plays a guitar and helps the children sing a calypso style song Help Woodsy Spread the Word. At one point, Woodsy looks to be playing the guitar even though the instrument is as big as he is, he's clutching the neck and just barely faking strumming. (I'll try to get this clip online - it's quite a ludicrous image).

An odd side note, the US Forest Service has updated Woodsy's motto ("Lend a hand- care for the land") and his image, and, in a very strange revisionist directive, ordered that his former costume be destroyed:

Destroying Old Woodsy Owl Costumes Guidelines

1. Incinerate the complete costume with the oversight of an official USDA Forest Service law enforcement officer*.

2. The entire Woodsy Owl costume including each of the separate pieces is to be destroyed beyond recognition.

* If you do not have access to an official USDA Forest Service law enforcement representative, arrangements will be made for dealing with your costume by contacting the USDA-FS Washington Office at:

Woodsy Owl C/o National Symbols Program P. O. Box 96090 Washington, D. C 20090-6090

The Apes (1976) Films/West
Looks at physical characteristics, habits and behavior of the gibbon, chimpanzee, orangutan and gorilla. Shows how each ape is adapted to his physical environment and why their environments are endangered. Some beautiful primate footage here...

Ballet Mechanique (1924) Ferdinand Leger
Another wonderful avant-garde film with lots of visual kaleidoscopic play.

Happy Birthday, USA!

As much as we bellyache about this country and all the horrible things our government has done, I still love this place. Especially because of things like this film below, made for the Bicentennial by Vincent Collins for the United States Information Agency - the propaganda department of our government. Government grant money went to a psychedelic animator to create a beautifully trippy tribute to our country.


http://www.archive.org/details/200

That Damned Metric System!

This show had been requested by popular demand at the last show that I did in Raleigh. These films were made during the late 1970s push for the nation to adopt the metric system of measurement. Gee, it seem so easy to learn compared to the English system. I wonder why it was dropped in the 1980s?

Generally, math films are hard to watch. Most are very dry and, while trying to make a math concept easier with examples, tend to muddle up things. I did a show a couple of years ago called "Math!" where I pulled out some math films that seemed to rise above the genre (Donald in Mathemagic Land, some rare Multiplication Rock, The Weird Number and of course, Powers of Ten). So putting together a night of compelling metric system films was going to be a challenge. I had a short list of titles that I was going to put on a compilation called "That Damned Metric System". Here are the films that I showed:

The Metric Film (1975) Lewis Hall
Discusses the history of the metric system, conversion to the metric system and how to solve measurement problems. There's some tongue-in-cheek scenes such as the official "meter bar" being gently placed on a shelf and being locked away in a safe in France - only to hear it drop off the shelf behind the safe's door.

Wonder Baby (1978) Metric Marvels series - Yohe & Newall
This is part of the Metric Marvels series made by the same talent behind the Schoolhouse Rock. So the animation, humor and song stylings are there but the subject matter is so simple (the metric system is so much easier to understand than the English system) that the concept of each piece makes it more confusing. This contrasts other Schoolhouse Rock pieces which had the challenge of simplifying hard elementary school lessons into catchy songs and cartoons.

This particular film features the animated superhero Wonder Gram in a discussion of metric measurement. (a young Wonder Gram converts pounds to kilograms). Basically, Wonder Gram (an overweight Wonder Woman) was a fat kid. Her parents, embarassed by her weight, decided to list her weight in kilograms so it would seem less (since 2.2 pounds equal one kilogram). Wonder Gram then reveals that she can change her size (from a gram to a metric ton).

Metric Meets The Inchworm (1974) Bosustow Entertainment
Uses a story about Fred Inchworm (whose voice is a poor man's Jimmy Durante) to explore the basic components of the metric system and show the advantages of converting to this form of measurement. Fred quits working at the ruler factory when they go metric and goes from job to job trying to find an occupation that hasn't switched over to metric.

Wonder Gram (1978) Metric Marvels series - Yohe & Newall
Tells how Wonder Gram foils a gang of snack thieves and demonstrates the multiples of metric weight. This film had the catchiest song of all the Metric Marvels series.

Make Mine Metric (Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the gram) (1975) Braverman Films
Presents a light-hearted introduction to the metric system and the situations it will cause in our daily habits when driving speeds, supermarket purchases, dress sizes and other every-day items are recast into metric figures. This one was aimed towards adults and was maybe a little too clever for itself.

Eeny, Meeny, Miney Milliliter (1978) Metric Marvels series - Yohe & Newall/NBC
Explains how Liter Leader helps a camp cook deal with an army of hungry children by showing him how to use a metric measuring cup.

Measure Weight - Think Metric (1974) Barr
Introduces the concept of measuring weight in metric units. Shows two girls as they visit a chemist to learn about the standard units of weight. Tells how they use their new knowledge to compare the weight of common things in their home and to bake a metric cake. The audience love when then girls decide to weigh a sleeping cat. The cat is picked up and dumped in a produce scale and begins batting at the scale's measurement arm. The audience audibly gushed. Everybody seems to be a sucker when it comes to kitties on the screen.

Mara - Mara - Marathon (1978) Metric Marvels series - Yohe & Newall
Shows how Meter Man uses a track meet to explain kilometers and other metric distances. None of these films were particularly memorable - although they weren't run as often as the Schoolhouse Rock series.

A Rough Sketch for a Proposed Film Dealing with the Powers of Ten and the Relative Size of the Universe. (1968) Charles Eames Films
Powers of Ten was probably the first film that I saw as a kid that used the metric system. It's a very elegant way to teach about scale, orders of magnitude and the metric system. This particular version that I screened was a "rough sketch" that I found in a collection. It is not as smoothly animated as the final film and it has a British female narrating. Plus it starts off in Miami, Florida, where the final film starts in Chicago. Given that it is a "rough sketch", I don't know why it was distributed to the public except maybe Eames was trying to raise money for completing the final film which was release nine years later.

My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza Pies

NASA seems obsessed with Italian food. Their big old logo (and now new logo) is called the "Meatball logo". Now I just saw a cartoon teaching kids the planets with a goofy mnemonic song "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza Pies" (sung to "Way Down Upon the Swanee River").

Their late 1970s-mid 1980s logo (the more modern logo) was called the "Earthworm logo." I probably would have been more popular if they had called it the "Spaghetti logo".

Films on 6/16/08

Five Chinese Brothers (1958) Weston Woods So my nephew heard that I wanted to get a haircut and he suggested I get one like a Chinese boy - bald with a pigtail. Later, we tried to figure out how a six year old knew about that old stereotype image. I thought it was because of the book Five Chinese Brothers. Germaine didn't remember reading it, so we watched the film. In case you forget, five Chinese Brothers get away with murder by duping local villagers who try to exact justice for the death of a small boy. It's a great kid's story but there are some underlying stereotypes (someone chimed "yeah, all those Chinese look the same"). Budding film collectors take note. This film is an iconographic film meaning it is just made up of shots that pan the illustrations in the book as someone reads the story. Weston Woods is known for doing many great animated adaptations of children's books (Where The Wild Things Are, Smile For Auntie) but they also do these dull iconographic films - so beware...

Sun: Friend or Foe (1968) Charles Cahill
Discusses the positive and negative aspects of the sun's influence on the Earth and our daily lives. Teaches basic concepts and facts about the sun. It really looks like Cahill just strung together a bunch of stock footage from other Cahill films

The Box (1973) Hans Halberstadt / Barr Films
Presents a visual and sound experience about a young boy who enjoys playing with a large cardboard box. Explains that the boy imagines that the box becomes a stagecoach rumbling across the prairie, a steam locomotive puffing through the forest, a stunt plane diving and twisting in the sky and finally a space capsule on its way to the moon. We did some digging and discovered that Hans is a big train enthusiast.

It All Depends on You (late 1960s) Fox and Assoc. AT&T
Jack Klugman (just before The Odd Couple and long before Quincy) and a young Peter Ostrum (as Charlie Bucket in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory) as his son. Tries to convince customers to dial direct when dialing long distance - to save money and ultimately for AT&T to save employing operators during off-peak times. It took a while for everybody to figure out what the hell this film was selling. I personally love films that take their sweet ass time to make their points - its maddening and so indulgent...

Fears of Children (1951) Mental Health Film Board / Bryan, Julien
Tells the story of five-year-old Paul whose mother is unduly protective and whose father is over-severe. Shows how fears which are common to children may be magnified by inconsistency in parental attitudes. This is one of Rick Prelinger's favorite films and I'm happy that I found a good copy on Ebay. I'll definitely show this one publicly soon.

Neurotic Behavior - A Psychodynamic View (1973) CRM/McGraw-Hill
Shows the basic dilemma of the neurotic and how mental defenses serve to reduce the anxiety. Takes a psychodynamic approach to neurotic behavior as it follows an episode in the life of Peter, a troubled college student who attempts to cope with reality. Holy cow, what a great film! Courtesy of Valerie and the People of Pavement 16mm archive that she just donated to the A/V Geeks archive.

Normalization - A Right To Respect (1973) Atlanta Assn For Retarded Children/Wooster Productions
So I let folks pick a film based on the title and they picked this one. Depicts handicapped persons in real life situations to illustrate what normalization is for persons with developmental handicaps. Narrated by TV actor Lloyd Nolan - a very gruff gumshoe character actor whose voice seemed very inappropriate for a film about the handicapped.

06/08/08

Noise (1970) Don Dickerson
Describes various types of noise familiar to young children and raises the questions, what is the difference between sound and noise, how much does noise affect the quality of our lives and how much noise can we tolerate. This particular copy of the film was clipped so we don't know how it ended but it was clear that in teaching kids to pay attention to all the ambient noise in their lives, that they'll never be able to concentrate in school.

For Goodness Snakes (1973) Learning Garden
Introduces snakes to young children before they have been prejudiced by the attitudes of adults. The subtext of this film is far more evil since it teaches kids not to fear the lying serpent -Satan. For example, the film was made by the"Learning Garden" - a reference to the Garden of Eden and Tree of Knowledge. Also, after looking for snakes in the wilderness, the man and kid eat apples(!).

Let's be Friends - an Emotionally Disturbed Child (1977) Encyclopedia Britannica Films
Like You, Like Me Series. Shows how a group of children decide to help one of their friends, a little girl with an emotional problem. This film is animated and looks very similar to the "Most Important Person Series" but aimed towards special needs kids. The main characters in this particular episode are a deaf black girl, an emotionally-disturbed girl and an Asian girl. Not particularly a great film but it has piqued my interest since it is trying to address "normal kids" who are sharing a classroom with mainstreamed "special needs kids". Other films in this series (which I don't have): Doing Things Together - a Child with a Prosthetic Hand, Everyone Needs some Help - a Child with Speech and Hearing Impairment, I Can do it - a Child with Double Braces, It's Up to Me - a Child with Asthma, Let Me Try - a Mentally Retarded Child, See what I Feel - a Blind Child, Let's Talk it Over - a Child with Epilepsy, When I Grow Up - Career Aspirations, Why Me - an Orthopedically Handicapped Child.

The Dime (1973) Little Red Filmhouse
Follows the circulation of a dime from the mint through many changes of hands until it finally ends up in a sewer. This film is great - first there's assembly line porn of dimes being made and wrapped. Then we watch this single dime (with a nail polish smudge) as it goes from person to person. It's a kid's version of Twenty Bucks.

PCP: You Never Know (1979) Churchill Films
Presents information on PCP, known as 'angel dust', 'Sherman' and 'crystal' and reveals the unique dangers of this drug. There's a good girl freaking out scene but this, like other drug films about PCP, is fairly dull when compared to films about LSD or marijuana.

Getting Busted (1973) OCATS Orange County Alcohol Traffic Safety
Presents an in-depth study of an 18-year-old's arrest for driving while 'under the influence,' through trial to sentencing. Discusses the humiliation, emotional and financial problems which are created by the abuse of alcohol. There are some good curbside sobriety tests (including some that we couldn't do sober) and some jailhouse hijinks in this film.

Fluoride: The Magnificent Mineral (1983) National Institute of Dental Research, Colgate-Palmolive
Discusses methods of fluoride, including community fluoridation, dietary fluoride supplements and fluoride mouth rinses. Points out that tooth decay can be prevented through the proper use of fluoride. This Colgate-sponsored film was such a highly polished piece about the wonders of fluoride that we all immediately questioned the benefits of fluoridation.

Portrait of the Enemy - American Dental Association /Vision Associates
I let my guests pick from three films based on their titles. They chose this one. Like "Dead Birds" they chose weeks ago, this film had everybody screaming in horror. It starts off simple enough with an analogy of basketball game strategy in dealing with gum problems. It recognizes the opponent (gum disease) and his style of play (plaque), effective defense (proper home oral hygiene and regular professional care), and the cost of losing (loss of teeth). It was shots of extreme peridontitis - nubs of teeth surrounded by thick pus and tartar in a bed of irritated and bloodied gums - that had people screaming in terror.

Films on 6/1/08

Now About Lamb (1965) American Lamb Council
Includes basic lamb cookery showing easy, versatile lamb dishes as prepared in the family kitchen and on the outdoor grill. A housewife in pearls and glistening plasticky-helmet of hair learns about all the delightful meals you can make with lamb - stew, lamburgers, rack of lamb and so much more.

Hamm Comes to the Riverbank (1965) Riverbank Film Productions
Part of the Tales of the Riverbank series, the film uses live animals to tell the story of a hamster meeting a raccoon, rabbit, bee, frog and a rat. We saw a film later in the series, Let's Have A Party. Hamm moves onto the Riverbank and meets his new neighbors including Roderick the Rat who curses "Sufferin' Cheese Rinds"! I'm told that the Riverbank films were shown on Canadian TV - generally early in the morning. It's very soothing and has a definite British influence and maybe a little gay subtext? A bunch of gentlemen bachelor rodents meeting up for a picnic and tea discussing their flower gardens.

Flash That Smile (1984) American Dental Association
A teen dancer teaches others about how good dental hygiene will help make you attractive and confident. Heavily influenced by the 1980s dance films (Flashdance, Fame, Dirty Dancing) and break dancing films (Breakin', Breakin' 2, Krush Groove) there is a lot more dancing than there is dental information - which is a little odd for your average ADA film. The break dancing/flossing pantomime sequence is awesome, borderline stupid. I think I have a low tolerance for films that were made after I graduated from high school - mostly because I hated 80s pop culture so much...

Thumbs Down - Hitchhiking (1974) Filmfair
Demonstrates the variety of potential dangers to both the hitchhiker and driver, using dramatizations of hitchhiking and interviews with victims of hitchhiking-related crimes and accidents. some great shots of stringy-haired teens talking about how they avoid getting picked up by the wrong person. A Pasadena cop then tells us some great stories of the dangers of hitchhiking. Rape (hetero- and homosexual) is one of the main dangers discussed. The cop tells an amazing story of a driver who picked up two teen boys, shot one and performed "immoral acts" on them before dropping them off at a hospital. Supposedly the driver had intended to kill the boys, wrap their body parts in chicken wire and stucco, paint them green and dump them i the wilderness. There is a lot of b-roll of the camera crew filming the "teen-on-the-street" interviews which makes the film seem all more fake.

Johnny Boy (1973) Joyous Lake
A poignant story about a foster kid named Johnny in rural Florida and how the transitory nature of foster care isn't good for anybody. A horrible singer-songwriter warbles throughout the film and ruined the film for my audience, but I thought the film had a lot more going for it.

Adventures in Grammar Galaxy- Verbstar (1979) Barr Films
Having read the synopsis for this film, I was prepared for a bad film, but I had no idea what a trainwreck this would be. Presents puppet characters who find the clues to conjugating s-form verbs, learn when and how to use auxiliary verbs, find the answer to the riddle of the 'ed' and 'ing' ends and tackle the irregular verbs. Character actor Hal Smith (Otis the drunk, Goofy) does some of the puppet voices but the script is such a mess I don't know how any kid could fathom the subject matter. Generally, puppets are a bad sign that an educational film is going to be bad for its intended purpose - but usually great for laffs!

Magic Circle - Bleacher Feature (1975) United Methodist Communications.
Focuses on role playing. Asks children to think of a time when they thought they were doing the right thing, but got in trouble anyway. You have a bunch of fifth graders in a circle being spurred on by an adult to act out a scenario - where a kid sits in another kid's seat in the bleachers. The kids brainstorm alternative solutions. Lots of wide leather watchbands and belts in this film.

Rifles and Sabre (1974) Interland
Sigh, even though the weapons being twirled and tossed in this film are fake, I was hoping for a little bit more excitement than what this film shows. A tall automaton girl demonstrates the various techniques...